Anxiety and Jumping to Conclusions

I don’t know if this is going to get posted or not. I suppose if you are reading this then we know which I decided to go with.

Yesterday my anxiety was running in high gear. It’s been creeping in that direction for a few days anyway but it spiked yesterday. Twice. I also may or may not have taken one too many of my anti-anxiety pills and slept for about 14 hours.

The beginning of the month my guy’s youngest son moved in with us for the summer with the hopeful intention of staying with us permanently. I’m not opposed to this, of course. He’s a great kid. It’s just I have never been a step mother before. My concern lies purely on what sort of influence I will be on this boy. My guy seems convinced that I will be nothing but positive so I must have faith in myself since he has faith in me. Surely it will be better than where he came from, at any rate.

Then my guy dropped the bomb yesterday morning which began the rolling anxiety attacks. He will be picking up his youngest daughter by the end of the month as well. Of course, the intention is to keep her for longer than just the summer.

We will have three teenagers in the house. A 14 year old boy, a 16 year old girl, and a 17 year old girl. The 17 year old is mine. The 16 year old girl I have never spoken to and from what I understand is jealous of my 17 year old because she has spent 3 years with her daddy. I can see this as being either Disney amazing or apocalyptically devastating.

To say I’m intimidated is an understatement. I have a thousand different scenarios running through my mind and I have exactly zero experience with this. The majority of my friends either have no kids or very young children and of course don’t have experience with this. Once again, amongst my peers, I feel as if I’m wading in strange waters with zero life support.

Perhaps I am just doing the classic jumping to conclusions bit. Perhaps all will be well in the land of Razz and I am simply creating drama where there is none to be had.

I certainly hope so….

~ Razz

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