I haven’t done this for many years. I’ll be honest with you, I forgot how intimidating it can be. I have kept a paper journal off an on since I was 14 years old and I will never put that on a shelf, however I will probably transcribe much of that here. There is something very intimate about pen and paper that I will always be drawn to. In my early twenties I had a website that I put a lot of poems and writings up. They were very cryptic and it got to the point that I’m not even sure if they made sense to me anymore. Then came along Livejournal. Oh….Livejournal….But all of my friends were on LJ and I felt as if I couldn’t be brutally honest for fear of hurting someone. I can be very brutal. And honest.
So here I am. Nearly 40 and coming back to expressing myself online. I have always had an insatiable urge to be heard and understood. Is that normal? I think so. I feel as if it is important for me to get what is inside out so that others will know that there is no such thing as perfect and that I don’t go insane trying to be perfect.
I’m almost 40. My 17 year old daughter is about to graduate high school. Her daddy and I divorced when she was three and I just passed the three year mark in a relationship with a combat veteran. I am in the middle of a career change but currently not working and will be going back to school very soon. All of the above mentioned items have brought me to the edge of insanity…and back.
Can you help me endure this swirl?